Sometimes it lasts in love
by Dalnim
Summary: AU. Sherlock comes back after 6 years of absence to a John who's married and has a kid. Chap two: "I recalled a promise you made for me more than 20 years ago and came to collect it."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Was listening to Adele and for the hundreth time thought that Someone Like You would be a perfect song to base a Johnlock fic on, so here it is. This fic is not related to my other Sherlock fics.**

**Summary: AU. Sherlock comes back after 6 years of absence to a John who's married and has a kid.**

**Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue is from the lyrics of Adele's Someone Like You, which I do not own. I also don't own Sherlock.**

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**Sometimes it lasts in love**

A dark tall figure watched a small roughly five-year-old girl playing in the yard of a small, but cosy-looking house. The girl had blond hair and blue eyes – the very eyes that the man had missed so much in his absence.

It had been six years since he had last been in London. Six years since he had last seen his best friend and flatmate at the time, and in the worst possible way.

He had missed him. Every day, every hour, every minute. But he had had to keep away to ensure John's safety for as long as it was necessary. He hadn't counted on it being so long.

He had changed.

He was sure that John had changed too, but he himself had changed so much that he felt like he didn't know who he once had been, anymore. Who he had been, when he still had John.

But now he had blood in his hands.

Way too much blood and he was afraid that John would reject him. The fear of rejection had always been his biggest weakness and even when he had had John he had always in the back of his mind waited for the moment that he too left him, just like everybody else. Only this time it had been the other way around and he wasn't sure if John would ever forgive him.

It was foolish to even consider it. He knew that. But still he hadn't been able to stop himself from seeking John out, hoping that somehow they would be okay.

But of course he should have expected something like this, he thought as he gazed at the little girl.

_Idiot._

This was _John_. John and his many girlfriends. It was _obvious_ that in six years' time, without him, John would end up with a wife and kids, just like he had always hoped to. Still the knowledge felt like a knife pushing into his chest and he felt like it was difficult to breathe.

He shouldn't have come. This was one of his stupidest ideas. Clearly John had moved on.

He wouldn't need him anymore. He was better off.

He turned away.

Suddenly a soft voice called out his name in a tone difficult to interpret. It was fearful, yet hopeful – maybe resigned, but not angry. And suddenly he didn't know what he would be up against if he found it in him to turn around.

"Sherlock?"

* * *

John hummed as he busied himself around the kitchen until suddenly a shiver ran down his spine and he felt the urge to look out of the window. He gazed at the yard his eyes immediately spotting his five-year-old daughter playing with her toys. Only there was someone else in there too, just outside the house, watching his daughter.

An alarm went off in his head and he quickly exited the house his posture guarded. It was the beginning of dusk in late fall when the days grew darker, so his presence was mostly covered by the shadows. Still not even darkness was able to stop John from recognizing the posture of the tall man even if the hair wasn't as long and curly as he remembered.

His heart skipped a beat.

_Sherlock._

Six years had gone by since he had last seen him, lying in a pool of blood just outside the Bart's hospital. Try as he might John had never been able to erase that image from his mind, even after he figured out what Sherlock had done and why he had done it.

It had taken time for him to forgive Sherlock and for the nightmares to disappear. But he had forgiven him even though he had felt hurt. His anger had long faded and for a long time he just wanted Sherlock to come back. He knew that someday he would if he was still alive as there was no Sherlock without London and no London without Sherlock.

Only he hadn't anticipated it taking this long.

But never had he given up hope. Even after he married, John had always upheld that tiny bit of hope of Sherlock returning and that everything would be like it once was.

A fool's hope.

He knew that even if Sherlock did come back they could not go back to the way they were before. They were too changed and things were different now. John was married and had a daughter and Sherlock had gone through god-knows-what during his absence.

Still John held out the hope that he would at least once see him again. To make sure he was alive. That's all he needed.

And now here he was. Standing just outside John's small home looking hesitant, fearful and in pain? Everything that the Sherlock John had known wasn't.

Suddenly the dark figure turned away and John found himself panicking. He couldn't leave now, not without meeting John. John had to see him close, to talk to him so that he would know for sure that he was real and not a figment of his imagination.

"Sherlock?" He asked softly walking towards the man, who ever so slowly turned around to face him.

"Hello John."

The two men stared at each other taking in the changes the years had left in both of them. They both looked older, with more wrinkles and worry lines. Sherlock was even thinner than he remembered and looked weary. John wished he could take away part of the burden he seemed to be carrying but knew that it wasn't his to take. Not anymore.

It seemed like neither would or wanted to break the silence around them, not knowing what to say. It was however broken by a small high-pitched voice.

"Daddy!"

John broke his eye contact with Sherlock and turned to see his daughter running towards them.

"Hey, Princess, why don't you get inside and wake Mummy up it's nearly time for dinner. Daddy's gonna come in in a few minutes." He said and the girl nodded and ran off after a curious look towards Sherlock.

John turned to look at Sherlock.

"You're not surprised to see me." Sherlock finally said and John smiled fondly.

"Contrary to what you always thought, I'm not an idiot, Sherlock. I admit I didn't get it for the first few months – shock does that to you – but I _am_ a doctor and thinking back, the whole thing went off a bit too perfectly; too many medical personnel around you too quickly for one."

"So you knew."

"I knew."

"You don't sound angry." Sherlock stated slightly apprehensively.

"It was six years ago Sherlock." John looked at him pointedly. "I have had time to process this. I know what you did and why you did it, even if I don't necessarily agree with the method. But I know you Sherlock, or at least I knew, and you only had few people important to you in your life and what you did was to protect them – to protect us. I can't be angry for you for that. I only hoped that you had shared all this with me and maybe you hadn't had to do it alone."

"I couldn't make you leave everything behind." Sherlock said. "You had friends and family, you'd have had to lie to them. I couldn't make you do that and leave everything behind just so I could have you with me."

"Everything behind? You _were_ my everything, Sherlock!" John said exasperatedly. "Without you I was a crippled army doctor no longer fit to do his job. You gave me purpose Sherlock – a will to live. You don't know how close I was to just swallowing my Browning before I met you."

"Don't say that." Sherlock snapped his face having paled slightly. "Don't ever say that."

John rubbed his face in his hand and took a deep breath, letting the air exhale out in a sigh.

"Why are you here, Sherlock? Why did you come to see me?"

"I don't know." Sherlock mumbled looking away.

"Sherlock." John said in his 'I know you're lying to me, Sherlock' voice.

Sherlock felt even more idiotic by his foolish hopes of reuniting with John, but knew that the quicker he told him the quicker he could leave and then it all came out in a rush:

"I heard from Mycroft that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now. I heard that your dreams came true" He continued. "Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you." Sherlock mumbled with a sigh, still not looking at John, his face hidden by a shadow.

John's heart skipped as beat as Sherlock spoke, his mind imagining for a second what they could have been if things were different. He pushed the image away feeling sad that they were now so distant form each other that Sherlock couldn't even look at him.

"Old friend, why are you so shy? It's not like you to hold back or hide from the light." He said turning Sherlock's head to face him.

"I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it." Sherlock continued. "I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over." He looked at John intensely for a second before shaking his head as if to clear his head and then drew back John's hand falling off his face.

"Nothing compares, John, no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes, they're memories made." Sherlock said painful smile appearing on his face. "Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

"But never mind, I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, John." He said attempting to sound sincere. They both knew however, that Sherlock would never be able to replace John.

"Just…Don't forget me." Sherlock said coming back closer to John and there was only a few inches separating them. "I remember you said: Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

"Sherlock."

"Forgive me John, but I need to know what it's like. I don't want to wonder. Just think of it as another one of my experiments. One last experiment." He whispered with a slight reminiscent smile before closing the gap between them and kissing John full on the lips. It wasn't a long kiss, but it wasn't only a peck either. And somewhere deep within the locked folds of his heart John admitted that it was the best kiss of his entire life.

Only in reality, they weren't to be.

"Thank you John, for everything." Sherlock whispered before walking away from him, leaving John dazed, looking at his withdrawing back with tears running down his cheeks – tears of regret, love and heartbreak.

"I could never forget you Sherlock."

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be up tomorrow!**

**\- Dalnim**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for SnarryMoreidLover for reviewing, I'm glad you liked the first chapter. Here's chapter two. Hope you like it.**

**Summary: "I recalled a promise you made for me more than 20 years ago and came to collect it."**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock.**

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**15 years later**

"Dad? You here?" A young woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes yelled as she stepped into her childhood home.

"In the office, Sheryl!" Came back a reply.

"Hey!" She said and kissed his father on a cheek as she stepped into the office, which was mostly empty, only a few boxes on the table, which her father was closing with duct tape.

"Hello Princess." His father greeted fondly.

Sheryl smiled fondly at the nickname.

"You all packed?"

"Yes, this is the last of it." John sighed nodding.

Sheryl hummed in response.

"So where are you going to go now?" She asked.

"I looked up a small flat a few blocks from the hospital." John answered evasively.

"You know you don't have to move out this quickly Dad." Sheryl frowned.

"I know, I know, but I think it's better this way." John sighed.

"For you or for Mum?" Sheryl muttered.

"Sheryl." John reprimanded.

"It's not fair that she just basically throws you out of the house as soon as the papers are finalised. This is your home too!"

"Your mother is not throwing me out, Sheryl, I choose to leave."

"Well she did imply it."

John rolled his eyes.

"I think you should have divorced her years ago." Sheryl said bluntly. She had always been closer to her father and didn't like how her mother treated him sometimes.

"Sheryl!"

"What? She has been making googly eyes on that teacher for years! A blind man could have seen it don't tell me you didn't notice!"

"Yes, I did notice." John sighed.

"So why didn't you do anything?!" Sheryl exclaimed. "It was because of me, right? You stayed together for me and now that I'm an adult and live on my own you decided to finally get divorced."

"It's not that simple Sher."

"Then explain!" Sheryl crossed her arms.

"Mary and I just started drifting apart at some point, but we stayed together because we loved each other. Sometimes it's just not enough." John said.

"It's because she wasn't The One for you, isn't it?" Sheryl asked knowingly.

"What?" John raised his eyebrows looking at his daughter.

"You know the one you're in love with. And have been probably even before I was born."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know who I'm talking about Dad."

"What makes you think I have been in love with someone other than your mother?"

"Please!" She rolled her eyes. "You have this kicked puppy look sometimes when you're deep in thought and you tend to sigh a lot. You look sad and sometimes even like you're in pain. And then sometimes you smile, like a true smile and not the fake ones you tend to give especially around Mum."

John looked at her stunned not having realised his daughter was so observant.

"So will you ever tell me about him?"

"Him? What makes you think it's him?"

"Other than the fact that you pretty much just confirmed it's a him?" She raised an eyebrow before shrugging. "Just a hunch."

John nodded absentmindedly.

"So will you tell me what happened?" She asked gently, seeing the faraway look on her father's face. "Did – Did he die?"

John let out a hollow laugh.

"I – Er – Yes, I suppose he did." John said making Sheryl look at him questionably. "For all a little under six years."

"What!?" Sheryl exclaimed.

John laughed this time more freely.

"Yeah, Sherlock was like that." He said smiling his eyes soft at the memory of Sherlock. "But I guess I need to tell you the whole story for you to understand this." He mused glancing at his daughter who took a better position in her armchair and looked at him eagerly just like she did when she was little and about to get told her favourite bedtime story.

John shook himself from his memories and began:

"The first time I met Sherlock was just after I had been invalided from Afghanistan with a wounded shoulder and a limp…"

John continued through their story telling her everything from his time with Sherlock, how he faked his death and how he met her mother.

"I met your mother in a pub a couple of months after the Fall. We were both trying to forget our sorrows and ended up confiding in each other, and then one thing led to another and… I'll spare you the details. Anyway, we parted the next morning and didn't meet again until two months later when she contacted me and told me she was pregnant with you. I was shocked of course as we had been using protection, but it appeared to have failed. I met up with your mother a couple of times and we decided that we were going to keep you. We started to get to know each other during her pregnancy and slowly fell in love with each other. Then we married when you were two and you know the rest." John smiled.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"No." John said strongly. "I could never regret it, Sheryl. I did love your mother and our life together. And I could never regret having you."

"But you could have had Sherlock."

John shook his head.

"I couldn't wait around for Sherlock forever."

"Did you ever see him? After he came back from the dead?"

John was quiet for a moment before answering:

"Once."

"What happened?"

"It was a few days after your fifth birthday. He showed up outside our house watching you play. Six years had gone by and there he was; alive and looking as gorgeous as ever – he took my breath away." John said lost in that day. "He asked me why I wasn't surprised or angry with him and I told him I knew why he had done it. I asked him why he had come and he told me that he'd thought he could just show up and sweep me off my feet like last time regardless of the fact that I was married and had a child. I guess we both hoped that we could go back to what we were." John mused sadly.

"Then what?"

"He told me he was happy for me and that he would find someone else. I knew he was lying, but didn't really care; I could appreciate the gesture especially coming from Sherlock. He begged me not to forget him, as if I ever could… And then…" John trailed off.

"Then?" Sheryl prodded.

"He kissed me."

"What! Really?!" Sheryl exclaimed smiling widely.

John nodded lost in his thoughts.

"He apologized and said that he had to know what it would be like – told me to think of it as one last experiment." John choked slightly. "And then he kissed me so gently, but so filled with love and passion. The best kiss off my life… And then he was gone. I haven't seen him since or heard about him. I would have thought he'd go back to helping the Yard, but he didn't. He never even returned to Baker Street – I checked once and there were new tenants."

"Oh Dad. I'm so sorry." Sheryl hugged him.

"It's not your fault, Princess."

"Well, it kinda is…"

"No Sheryl, it's not." John said firmly.

"Fine."

Both father and daughter fell into their own musings until suddenly John spoke again.

"You know if things had gone differently I probably never would have gotten married."

"Yeah, because Sherlock would ruin all your dates." Sheryl laughed.

"Yeah." John joined her. "I remember once yelling at him about it and know what he told me?"

"What?" Sheryl asked curiously.

"He told me that if I still was single by the time I turned sixty _he_ would marry me himself if it stopped me from complaining."

"Really?"

"Yeah." John chuckled.

"Well, you're turning sixty tomorrow and now you're single again." Sheryl wiggled her eyebrows at her father who rolled his eyes.

"Seriously though Dad, you could try to look for him. Maybe now it would be your time."

John laughed shaking his head.

"I'm too old for that, Princess."

"There's no such thing as too old when it comes to love, Dad."

"It's been fifteen years Sheryl; he might not even remember me."

"Dad, from everything you have just told me about him, there's _no way _he'd ever forget you."

"What? I find him and tell him "Hi Sherlock, remember that promise you made me over two decades ago, well I'm 60 and single now, let's get married, shall we?"" John gave her a look.

"Exactly!" Sheryl exclaimed. "It's not like it would be the craziest thing you two have come up with." She said pointedly and John couldn't exactly disagree. Plus he couldn't dismiss the small string of hope of seeing Sherlock again, growing inside of him.

"Where would I even begin to look?" He sighed.

Sheryl flashed him a brilliant smile and dug out her smart phone. A few strokes of keys later she presented him with an address:

_Sherlock Holmes_

_15 High Street, East Sussex_

John stared at the address not knowing what to do. If he was honest with himself he wanted to see Sherlock – very badly – but was afraid to seek him out. It had been 15 years since their last meeting. What if Sherlock no longer felt the same for him? Could he go back to being just friends with him? Would Sherlock accept him even as that?

There were so many questions running through his mind. It seemed though, that his daughter wouldn't let the matter be as she grabbed her car keys and grinning widely exclaimed:

"Come on Dad, we're going to Sussex!"

* * *

"This is insane, Sheryl, just take me back to London." John said for the fiftieth time during their drive, getting desperate as they were nearly in their destination.

"No. You're going to meet him. It's about time you two sorted out your feelings for each other. If it were to happen that his has changed – which I seriously doubt – then at least you know and don't have to wonder about it for the rest of your life." Sheryl said firmly.

"But I don't know what to say to him."

"Just speak from your heart and you'll be fine." His daughter assured him. "Okay this is it." She continued parking the car and John looked at the place. It was a small farm and it seemed that Sherlock was keeping bees in there.

"He always found the bees fascinating." John commented a smile creeping on his face.

"You'll be fine, Dad." Sheryl said kissing his cheek.

John took a deep breath and stepped out of the car straightening his posture. He could do this, it was only Sherlock. Sherlock, whom he really hadn't seen in 20 years.

John approached the small house of the farm seeing the front door open. He knocked lightly but received no answer. Cautiously he entered the house his gaze falling straight away on Sherlock's familiar coat on the hanger. The house was very cosy and John noted to his surprise that most of the furniture from Baker Street had been brought there, including _his_ armchair. He smiled as he saw a familiar sight of a microscope and other equipment on the tables and signs of some ongoing experiment. There were honey jars all over the place as well as empty tea cups. The place was just as much of a mess than their Baker Street flat had been and John found that oddly comforting. He was half-tempted to check the fridge for body parts, but refrained from doing so.

John continued through the house finding it empty, but could hear a faint sound of a familiar violin coming from outside through the back door. Quietly he opened the door and found himself in a garden surrounded by beehives, but that wasn't the fact that made his freeze. It was Sherlock's tall figure with his gorgeous curly hair, which now had grey strokes in it. He was playing the violin his back to John and he was playing the song he had written to John all those years ago.

John closed his eyes and for a brief moment he could imagine them being back at Baker Street, him sitting in his chair and drinking tea while Sherlock played for him all his favourites. All too soon however, the playing ended and John opened his eyes, seeing Sherlock observing the bees, still having not noticed him.

John watched him for a moment before saying:

"I missed that. You, playing the violin."

Sherlock whirled around quickly his eyes widening and mouth opening slightly.

"John." The familiar, if not slightly older, baritone said and John felt warmness inside as he said his name.

"Hello Sherlock. Long-time no see." John said sounding much more confident than he actually felt.

"John." Sherlock repeated clearly still in shock of seeing John there.

"Sherlock." John answered in same tone.

"What are you doing here?" The tone wasn't accusing or didn't sound displeased so John took it as a good sign.

"I wanted to see you." He answered honestly.

"Why?"

John didn't really know how to answer that so he decided to just go with what had led him there to begin with.

"I recalled a promise you made for me more than 20 years ago and came to collect it."

"A promise?" Sherlock frowned.

"I was complaining about you ruining my dates all the time so you told me, and I quote: For God's sake John, if you're not married by the time you turn sixty I will marry you myself on your sixtieth birthday, just stop it with the complains, I can't think!"

Sherlock stared at him for a moment and John could see it from his face that he was recalling the event.

"But you are married." He stated finally.

"Was married. I'm single now." John corrected. "And I turn sixty tomorrow."

"And you want me to marry you. Tomorrow."

"Yes." John said readily. "That is, if you want to marry me." He added hesitantly and looked at Sherlock the questions clear in his eyes. _Are you still free? Do you still love me? Will you be with me?_

"Don't you think it's quite sudden? Shouldn't… these kind of things be done more slowly. Normal people date first from what I understand." Sherlock said his voice still remaining neutral not giving John any hints at all.

"I moved in with you after shooting a cabbie to save you. I think we're hardly normal." John raised an eyebrow. "And the way I see it, we dated for two years before the Fall, no matter how hard I tried to deny it back then. We had our first kiss when you came back and I have been in love with you for over two decades. I think we have wasted enough time." He said leaving it up to Sherlock.

Sherlock regarded him quietly not giving anything away so John felt he had to add something to lighten the mood.

"It could be dangerous." He said and Sherlock cracked a smile. John walked closer to him stopping just before him, moving his hands to cradle Sherlock's face.

"If you do not want this then tell me now, because I'm going to kiss you any second now." He said looking straight into Sherlock's greyish-green eyes. Instead the former consulting detective closed the gap between them and they shared their second kiss after fifteen years of time.

John moaned into the kiss a large grin forming on his face.

"So Sherlock Holmes, will you marry me tomorrow." He asked when they broke off.

"Yes." Sherlock said and they kissed again, arms wrapped around each other.

"I missed you so much." John murmured pressing their foreheads together.

"I missed you too." Sherlock said.

"I love you Sherlock."

"And I love you, John."

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**A/N: Thanx for reading! Please review and tell me your thoughts of this.**

** I**** could be presuaded to write a third chapter with the wedding if you guys want. Just let me know.**

**\- Dalnim**


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